Whether it is right or wrong." They are lawyer, judge, jury, policeman, court reporter.. you get the idea. They must have been convinced because they then elected him as Matai, or village chief.In Samoa, the Matai have complete control in the villages, or as my new, partially clothed, friend put it: "Whatever the Chief says goes. The answer was carved into the Chief's skin.He explained that, as a young man, he went through a month's long, painful, ritual tattooing process to prove to his village that he was literally willing to endure whatever was necessary for the honour and privilege of serving them. The famous Samoan tattoo.What I had asked to prompt this Full Monte of Fealty was if traditional Samoan culture, known as the Fa'a Samoa, was still the main governing force in society.

A lacework of intricate blue-black patterns covered the Chief from mid-thigh to mid-chest. And it wasn't just the standard-issue white sands and palm fringe... With a big grin, the Chief pulled up his shirt, dropped his wrap-around skirt and said: "This represents my devotion to my village." I stared, fascinated He was certainly very devoted. What's the key to living happily? Well I found one answer on the South Pacific island of Samoa. Also scheduled is footage of Margot Fonteyn dancing, Marcus Ryder's documentary, Clubbing, and two feature films - Strictly Ballroom and Chorus Line BBC2, 28 December, 6pm until closedown.. "It'll make you live longer, be nicer, stand taller, smile brighter, and think more interesting thoughts." In Dance Ballerina Dance (6.05-6.50pm), Deborah Bull explores the ballerina's evolving image through performances of extracts from five ballets, partnered by Adam Cooper and coached by Lynn Seymour.

You Make Me Feel Like Dancing (7.05-7.35pm) is his how-to guide for catching the dance bug "Dancing is beautiful," he says. Why Sayle? Because, despite his looks, he actually taught dance as a drama teacher. Burly comedian Alexei Sayle and porcelain ballerina Deborah Bull (above) are the oxymoronic combination of presenters for BBC's first-ever all-dance night. Somebody actually died while watching him.My name's been Mike Gunn Good night.Pause for applause or silence.. After all, he's committed the most heinous of all crimes: not being funny Stand up, shout abuse, throw something. But consider: earlier this year Lee Hurst managed to turn the tables on the audience. Tommy Cooper was so good he managed to quite literally die on stage - and still get laughs.So remember - next time you see a comic dying, don't just sit there in silence hating him.